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Edna Florence Farley

1930 - 2022

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  1. Memories of Nan by Elaine and Richard Farley

    We wanted to share with you some of our memories of our Nan and Gramps and the countless trips to Wareham we frequented multiple times a year during our childhood. And even now with us both in our late 30’s we’ve reflected that we have spent half of our life taking trips down to 18 Shirley Road.

    Everyone will know that our Nan and Gramps loved the outdoors, that was reflected in the many outdoor activities we did with them, of which we have decided to list some, many had a funny back story and memory for each of us
    • We often spent hours playing badminton in the back garden with rackets that we think were made in the late 60s’ paired with a net that was an offcut of netting gramps used to cover his treasured vegetable garden with. Nan would always be willing to go out and play regardless of whatever she might have had planned for later that day.

    • One year we went for a walk up around the local clay pigeon shooting range, and to our amazement we found hundreds of unbroken clay pigeons which we thought we could play with. Nan said we could take a few, which in fact ended up, fully loading the car, the clay pigeons were made into our own gallery, tennis ball, shooting range in the back garden. Nan never minded, although I’m sure gramps wasn’t happy about the hundreds of smashed clays that ended up all over his lawn. Of which even now when I walk the garden can find chips across the lawn.

    • 40 / 40 this was one of our fondest memories of Nan, the game was a hybrid version of hide and seek which we would play in the back garden, nowhere was out of bounds to hide. The funny thing was, she had all best hiding places and would often come crawling out of a bush with twigs in her hair and covered in mud.

    • We used to love making camps in the garden and in the house, the camps in the garden often consisted of using sun lounger cushions and deck chairs, and more often then not a trusted wheelbarrow much to gramps dismay. These camps/dens would be our base for the day other than the occasional loo breaks, nan would happily bring food and drinks out to the camps.

    • The many many walks we’d do with them always with a flask of tea and sandwiches for half way round. Many of the walks were all along the local area including walks along durdle door, Arne, Lulworth cove, Wareham forest. When we were older, we tagged along with ‘the Purbeck plodders’ walks who motto ‘was every road leads to a pub’, and ironically always ended with a drink and meal.

    • We would also pop rounds to Nans friends (Jean and Molly) and collect the apples that had fallen off the trees which Nan would either make into an apple crumble or would be chopped up placed on a plate and then smothered in an unhealthy amount of sugar. Looking back at this, Nan got to have a chat with her friends for a couple of hours whist we did the slave labouring of collecting all the apples off the floor and out of the tress, but it was all fond memories which kids would have loved to have been given free rein to climb and shake trees with the promise of a sugar covered apple, or a delicious apple crumble later that day.

    • We spent many days down at the beach of which the one most frequented was Weymouth beach, getting up at the crack of dawn, often being the first people on the beach, but we’d stay there all day. Nan always came in the water with us we’d spend most the day convincing gramps to come with us, late afternoon he’d get up and strol in and disappear into the water till he was almost out of site. But a funny story which I still carry on to this day is it was a competition not only to see who would be the first to see the sea but also first to see the white horse. At times nan would scream it out as Dennis would then mumble saying hes trying to drive, of which nan would just tell him to stop being silly.

    • The bike rides, all the dramas we would have of getting the bikes too and from which became bigger issue the older we got, as the bikes also grew in size. However, this was a grown up issue and not that for us mere kids to think of. We would spend hours riding around Shirley road and Stowell crescent on our bikes, I think nan would spend half the time looking out the window worrying about us.

    We have so many memories of Nan’s friends and her busy social life, some of our favourite memories were;
    • Sunshine Club – Monday afternoons one of my favourite days of the week (Rich may disagree tho!) was when we stayed and helped not only to set up but then subsequently also closed down which involved doing the cleaning – the treat was being able to join in playing bingo and every now and then she’d sneak us a packet of polos to eat

    • Church Warden duty in this very church, we would help Nan count how many visitors came into the church whilst she was on duty by using handheld clicker. We may have added a few 100 or so visitors before Nan would tell us off and being told we had to put the clicker back to the correct number of visitors

    • The many coffee morning we went and helped at through mothers union, art club and other clubs they were involved in. Our reward was always the left over cakes at the end

    • HemsBach club and the conversations with some of their friends, I can still remember the names Eric and Innerbourg, Nick and Ilene cake who hosted many BBQs

    • Going to early Sunday communion and picking up one of her friends who we affectionately named Rainy Day. Our favorite bit was the bacon sandwich Nan would always make us afterwards due to waking us up so early.

    • Nan walking into town to get some milk but we’d end up taking over an hour because she would ALWAYS bump into someone and we would have to wait till the conversation would end, which at times as a youngun’ would seem like days. Even when we would have to say to nan before we left the house ‘nan if you bump into anyone you know just kindly say hello and leave it at that’ but she never could.

    We spent most of our time outside, however the times we were stuck indoors
    • Watching Only Fools and Horses and Dad’s Army thousands of times. Her reactions were like she was watching it for the first time, the worst of it was, it was always the same episodes that we watched.

    • Making cakes, our personal favourites were the chocolate cake for me the Apple Crumble for elaine, even the grownups had their favourite coffee cake she would make. Even when I was in the early stages of my military career and was posted at Blandford, I was known to visit at the weekends, then travel back to camp with multiple cakes to share with my room mates.

    • Cards and Boardgame… she was terrible! Although we’re not sure if she really was rubbish or just wanted us to win. The usual ordeal was that she would have forgotten how to play each game so the first 10 minutes was spent recapping the rules and how to play!

    • Calling DENNIS or FRED to gain Dennis’ attention

    • Nan would always tell us she never ate chips but in her later days that was all she’d ever order if we went out and say that ‘oh I don’t really eat chips’ low and behold a plate of chips would appear

    We could go on and on with our fond memories but I think what we wanted to say today was that when we think of our grandparents we know we had the best grandparents ever… they made us feel for the time we were with them that there was nothing more important in their life than us. And what more can you ask as a kid that that.

    We’ll miss you Nan and Gramps xxx

    Elaine and Richard Farley
  2. Edna Florence Farley 8th April 1930
    Eulogy by John William Spencer Farley

    I would first like to say a quick heart felt thankyou to Canon Simon Everett and Albert Marsh Funeral Directors who have seamlessly facilitated and arranged both Mums funeral and this service. I also would like to thank you all for attending Mums funeral. The respect is very much appreciated.

    One final word of thanks must go to Mary Appleton who as good friend to both Mum and Dad has provided unceasing help and support either by way of shopping, routine visits or health monitoring updates that’s particularly over the period of the last five years when both Mum and Dads health declined relatively quickly. In many ways along with the Altogether Care visits it was this kind of support that enabled them both to remain resident in their own home something that was sacrosanct to them both.

    So what about my Mum, she was born in Wool Dorset as Edna Florence Moore on the 8th April 1930 to parents John William and Edna Alberta Moore and was the elder sister to her brother Victor Moore. They lived as a close knit family in a cozy, old world stone cottage at 33 Duck Street. Duck Street was at that time largely made up of thatched “chocolate box” style cottages. Had they survived a 1960’s rebuilding mania they would now be Grade 1 listed buildings.

    In this simple, peaceful, and secure environment Mum grew up. There were no Ensuite facilities in number 33. The bathroom consisted of a tin bath in front of the Kitchen Aga and the toilet a run up the garden path to the outhouse. As a young child I recall negotiating the outside toilet with its toilet paper thread on a piece of string and its many large resident spiders who appeared to keep a beady eye on you whilst you carried out your business.

    My list of happy memories is endless and I know Mums, much greater and more comprehensive memories were no less happy, contented or peaceful.

    Raised and growing up in a very different era, when the accumulation of more and more wealth particularly at the expense of any other concern was seen as neither right or wholesome Mum appreciated the value of money and was frugal but did not covert wealth at the expense of mental health or wellbeing. She possessed a very strong moral compass and clearly knew right from wrong and with her Christian beliefs used these as her road to what was a long and virtuous life.
    I often hear her words of wisdom such as “You can have all the money in the world but if you haven’t got your health then you haven’t got anything”. Who can argue the Sentiment

    As was the norm in the 1940’s, Mum left School at the age of fourteen and went on to work in Williams Bakery, Wool. The Name and Bakery survives to this day and is no doubt testament to the quality of its produce and reflects on the stoic nature of the locals who were born and raised in Wool.

    As Mums teenage years were coming to an end, and with thanks to Mums friend Beryl Farley, Mum got to meet a certain Mr Dennis Farley, who happened to be visiting his Mother and Sister in Swanage. As a result of this encounter Dads visits to Dorset became ever more frequent and it came as no surprise that on the 25th March 1950 Edna Florence Moore married Dennis Spencer Farley at the Holy Rood Church in Wool.

    Mum married at 19 years of age and without any fuss or drama took on the role of a Wife and subsequently Mother, tasks she proudly carried on for the next 73 years. In summary she was very much a classic role model 1940’s / 1950’s house wife tending every facet of household management that’s from cooking, cleaning, making beds, dress and curtain making.

    As part of her enthusiasm for Motherly tasks I recall her enrolling in a Cordon Bleu Cookery course this introduced the Farley family to French, Indian and Chinese cookery, very much out there for the 1960’s 1970’s family. This led me to love what some less forward thinking friends would call “Foreign Muck”. How wrong their words have proved to be.
    Throughout the years of school and early days of my working life whenever I returned home I could always be sure that
    • Beds would be made and all household chores complete
    • We would have clean clothes ready to wear
    • There would be a hot cooked meal to eat
    • We would have a clean, safe and loving home and
    • If I was looking for any form of guidance it would be provided.
    All Mums of tasks were supplied without favour or condition.
    I believe she saw it as her ordained duty to run, maintain and organize the family home and as a housewife she readily accepted her duties such as being a caring mother, a diligent homemaker, and usually obedient wife. In all the years of living at home I never heard her moan, complain or get tired of carrying out an endless list of domestic duties. Thou sometimes her frustrations would be vented vocally with a loud “well why on earth did you do it that way” or a “well if you haven’t learnt your lesson by now don’t come running to me” .
    There was always the one liner!

    As a child growing up, I always saw Mum as being the person in whom I could confide all my childhood worries and problems. She was always available to listen and offer sound advice and support. She was always the parent to whom I would go to first, and when necessary, comfort me with a “don’t worry about your Father I will talk to him “or after a poor set of school grades “Well if you’re going to end up a Dustman you could at least try and be the Supervisor”.

    Although I don’t believe she ever really thought herself as being academically clever for somebody who left school at 14 years of age I do believe her common-sense, sound judgement and logical way of thinking belied somebody who given the opportunity of a better education could have gone much further academically than she would ever have thought possible. She certainly was no fool.

    One of the very many things I can thank Mum for teaching me was learning how to tell the time. I recall the day when Dad who was outside fixing the car, with much frustration and growing anger asked me what the ruddy time was.. I stood there staring back with a blank look on my face with Dads response “don’t you now anything”? go and ask your Mother”. Once I had conveyed the answer back to Dad, Mum took hold of me sat me down at the Kitchen table and said “Right Master Farley you are going nowhere until you have learnt to tell the time” With all the expertise and patience of a University Lecturer within an hour Mum had taught me how to tell the time!

    So should anyone want to know the right time I can report, Mickey Mouses big hand has just passed his ear, and his little hand is near the tip of his tail.

    In line with Mums deeply engrained maternal instincts I recall playing a family game of Pictionary, taking it in turns to sketch a drawing whilst the others then shouted out what they thought the hidden word was, when it came to Mums turn the group spent many minutes trying to decipher the hidden word on Mums well drawn drawing of a washing line of clothes, The guesses include Clothes, Vest, Pants, Socks, Trousers, Shirts, Washing line, Posts, Windy Day, on and on went the wrong guesses. It was only after some time with no one having guessed correctly. Mum gave us the answer, “Its Monday” everybody does the Washing on a Monday!

    As my sister and I grew older, married, and had families of our own, Mum with relish and delight welcomed the prospect of caring for Grand Children. I recall juggling school holiday calendars around Mum, Florence and our working lives. With Elaine and Richard dispatched to Wareham for the week Florence and I would be assured that the children would be loved, safe, entertained and cared for and that we at the weekend could stop over for a refreshing weekend break.
    Along with building camps in the garden going to the beach in St Oswalds Bay, Swanage and Weymouth. We all as a family recall enjoying the long walks and pub lunches out to likes of Hounds Tout, Corfe Castle, Arne, Kimmeridge and Wareham Forest.
    On the seemingly few rainy days Nan would divert the children’s energies with creative art work. This ranged from using paints and crayons to sculpting with paper mâché. A recently found scroll of artwork verifies their efforts. Pictures of Sally the Seagull, Polly Parrot, Bruno and Bwana in the Dessert, and Sharkie. along with several decoupage clad wine bottles remain as testament to those activities.

    I know for a fact that both Elaine and Richard have very fond memories of Wareham school holiday visits and have asked to say a few words after me. I will therefore move on and leave them to recount their stories.

    Thou Mum spent all of her married life proudly fulfilling the role as the home-based house wife a small fridge magnet which can be found attached to the fridge door very much summed up the reality of Mum & Dads relationship. Here I quote, “The opinions expressed by the Husband of the house are not necessarily those of the Manager”. Mum was without any doubt the Manager. That said after their 70 years of Marriage who am I to cast judgment !

    In more recent times with the ongoing stressful demands of Dads declining health and her own declining mental and physical limitations I do believe she found nearly all her former routine tasks difficult if not impossible to carry out and in a state of subconscious denial she saw absolutely no need to seek any outside help, support or assistance. For Mum seeking any form of assistance was a sign of weakness and embarrassment and was something she fought to the end. In summary she would just quip, “Well it’s all part of life’s journey and you just have to get on with it”.

    I’m reminded of an old Poole Pottery tray which sat for many years in the bathroom, inscribed on it were the words “Do the work that’s nearest thou seems dull at whiles helping when you meet them lame dogs over stiles” I believe those words are a fitting epitaph to Mum.

    For 70 years Mum was very active in the Church and its community, she was actively a Nursery Assistant , Sunday School Teacher, involved with the Young Wives, Mothers Union, Flower Arranging, Bible class study groups, Over 60’s Sunshine Club, and Charity support work for the likes of Oxfam, Shelter and Christian Aid.

    In Frimley she provided regular social visits to elderly people and spent several years at the Frimley Hospital visiting seriously sick children with the simple aim of providing love and support. She has a very long history of assisting with the running of Fetes, Jumble sales and charitable events that’s in Wool, Southgate, Frimley and Wareham.

    Both parents have always been strong, honest and very hard working. Good virtues I believe, they have nurtured and passed down the family line.

    With the benefit of hindsight, I believe Mums battle with Dementia probably began 5 to 10 years ago and looking back at out of character behavior was the early tell, tell signs of what was to become her Achilles heel.

    In her last few months it was sad to see her physical deterioration and progressive loss of memory particularly in association with her family whom she cherished greatly.

    We loved her very much and will miss her greatly, That said we take solace that she has escaped the misery of Dementia and now resides at peace with her lifelong partner Dad.

    God bless and thank you very much.

    John Farley

Service Details

Monday, November 7th 2022 - 13:30
The Priory Church of Lady St Mary - Wareham, Church Street, Wareham, Dorset, BH20 4ND
Albert Marsh Funeral Directors

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